How to practice detachment?

What is detachment?

Detachment means realizing that emotions are temporary and you can control them. Knowing this fact that nothing last forever, and emotions are subject to change will help you greatly in detaching from past. Firstly, we need to understand that detachment is giving yourself enough emotional space. In my opinion, every person has its own reason for detaching from things. Some try to detach themselves from a complicated relationship or toxic one with family. However, it never means you don't care for them, it just means you are not much emotionally involved with them. You prioritize your peace of mind. People often misunderstand this concept as feeling no emotion at all for that person.

No, its about creating healthy boundaries for your sake of mental and physical health. Initially you could feel numb or no emotions at all, but voluntarily detachment enhances your peace of mind. Its simply an art of letting go of what doesn't serve you. Before knowing how to practice it, you have to figure out the reason behind it.

Identify the cause- Is it something that is mentally draining you. Know why you want to detach yourself. There are many a times when people just make narratives in their head, and exaggerate over petty things. Its never that you are doing out of revenge. People often get more emotionally involved with others, and then try to control and expect from them, which makes them feel hurt unnecessarily. Its when you feel worried all the time about your relation. Sometimes its about letting go of past traumas and bad experiences. 

Release your emotions- There are often times when people don't release what's inside them and later on feel suffocating due to bottled up emotions. Its quite necessary to release all emotions. By this I mean you can't skip bad feelings. If you want to cry, then cry. If you want to shout, go in a room, close the door and shout as loud as you want. Release that anger and frustration that you have suppressed. Doing activities like kicking pillows, running(sprint) , punching bag can help enormously. 

Be Patient with yourself- Its very common that people often want to get rid of past traumas. First thing to understand here is that one cannot forget the past, however, its impact can be lessened. Its not that you would not remember your past, its just that you won't be affected by it. You have to be patient with yourself as desperation will only lead to suffering. Its not something you practice some days and you would be separated from your past, its a continuous process. You have to practice it daily, and make it a part of your habit. You have to deal with your emotions very patiently. Anything that has accumulated over a long period of time doesn't go away easily. Remember that your mind would trigger itself repeatedly, but you need not to react. Understand your thought pattern, which means you know what thoughts would strike your mind and how you gonna feel. This way you'll become an observer of your mind. Understanding these patterns would really shift your reaction towards your emotions.

Positive Self-talk- Make it a habit to affirm good things about yourself. In the beginning, you may find this weird, but after a week, your mindset will shift. You'll notice positivity inside you. Believe whatever happens, happens for your highest good. Be responsible for your thoughts, actions and reactions.

Talk to friends- Talk with your friends. Share everything you want to share. Talk your heart out. This way you'll be able to vent out your feelings. You'll get a sigh of relief after sharing what's inside your mind. Talking to friend makes you feel heard. Ask for help and suggestions. Its important to socialize in order let go off the past and embrace the present.

Journaling- Write down everything what you feel. Introverts often don't have much friends, or don't feel comfortable discussing their personal life with friends or family. In that case, journaling can help you immensely. Develop the habit of writing down what you feel. It will make you feel lighter from inside. Many a times we think what other will think if we share our thoughts with them? Although, it can never affect you in reality, you can choose to pen down your feelings.

Spend time alone- Spending time alone can do wonders as it gives you time to introspect yourself. You get to know more about yourself and that is where clarity of thoughts begin. For people who never spent time alone, it can actually be quite difficult initially. But once you do it consistently, I promise it will strengthen your mental ability to a great extent. You will realize that the power is within you. You won't be dependent on anyone for your happiness in future.

Don't turn up to drugs or alcohol- Don't do drugs, alcohol or any other type of addictive substance in pursue of getting rid of bad feelings. Taking help of any addictive would only worsen the scenario. Its like shifting your dependency from one thing to another. The key is that you need to feel them and let them go. Its just like different vehicles passing on highway to reach a destination. Remember that you want to be independent which means gaining control over your emotions. In case you are feeling highly anxious or depressed, you can visit a psychiatrist to resolve the issue.